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What to Say to Someone with a New Breast Cancer Diagnosis

May 1, 2018 by

two friends chatting together

According to NationalBreastCancer.org, 1 out of 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year.

Unfortunately, this means that, over your lifetime, there’s a good chance that you’ll know a friend or family member who has breast cancer.

Sadly, if you receive this type of news, it can be difficult to find the right words to say to bring comfort to the one you love.

For that reason, we want to suggest 5 kind and compassionate things to say to someone who has been recently diagnosed with breast cancer.

It is our hope that you can use these suggestions to find positive, encouraging words that will uplift the women in your life who are fighting this courageous battle.

Keep reading to discover what we recommend…

Idea #1 – “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you.”

It’s 100% okay to not know what to say to someone with a new breast cancer diagnosis.

In fact, sometimes, it’s better not to say anything at all and let your loved one do the talking.

The simple line “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you” is a great way to let your friend or family member know that you’re at a loss for words.

Most important, this line can prevent you from saying something you can’t promise, like the phrase “Everything will be okay” that many people say out of habit.

The most important part of this sentence is the ending…“I’m here for you.”

It’s a great reminder to your friend or family member that, while you might not know what to say in the moment, you’ll always be there to provide support.

Idea #2 – “I’m here to listen.”

two women looking at the mountains

Actions often speak louder than words.

For this reason, we suggest letting your loved one know “I’m here to listen.”

This line gives your friend or family member the time to express her own thoughts, concerns, or worries before you speak.

It’s important to understand that your loved one will need time to process her thoughts and talking out loud can help her do just that.

After your loved one has had a chance to talk, you can then express what you feel is appropriate to say based on what has been told to you.

If you’re struggling to find the right words to say, don’t say anything at all. It’s just as valuable to lend your friend or family member a pair of supportive, listening ears.

Idea #3 – “Can I help you with X?”

When someone is diagnosed with breast cancer, it’s easy for her to become overwhelmed.

It’s likely that she will be left wondering how she will keep up with daily life while also fighting the battle of her life.

This is why our third recommendation is to simply ask your friend or family member, “Can I help you with X?”

Instead of talking about the diagnosis, simply ask how you can help. Doing this will remind the person you care about that she has people in her life that are going to help her keep moving forward.

We recommend that, when you ask how you can help, you are specific in your request.

For instance, you might ask, “Can I drive you to your doctor’s appointments?” or “Can I walk your dog twice a week?”

People are more likely to accept help when you are specific about what you’re offering to do.

Idea #4 – “What else is new?”

2 friends on a coffee date

Sometimes, talking about a breast cancer diagnosis isn’t helpful–especially if a person has a lot of other people asking her questions and wanting information.

Instead, your loved one might want to take her mind off the situation and talk about other things like a hobby or vacation.

If you can tell that your family member or friend is having a hard time talking about the diagnosis, change the topic and see if that helps.

Ask anything from “What are your kids up to?” to “How did you enjoy that movie you went to see the other day?”

A lighthearted conversation on a topic other than cancer might be the best thing you can do to offer a little peace in the midst of a breast cancer diagnosis.

Idea #5 – “Where or how can I learn more about what you’re going through?”

We all know that getting diagnosed with breast cancer is a difficult, life-changing experience. However, unless you’ve been diagnosed yourself, you’ll never be able to put yourself in the shoes of the person you care about.

That being said, it is possible to educate yourself to get a better understanding of what your loved one is going through.

That’s why we recommend that you ask your friend or family member, “Where or how can I learn more about what you’re going through?”

Having this knowledge up front will equip you with the tools you need to ask the right questions and provide the best support for the one you love.

This knowledge will also help you become more empathetic toward your loved one who is on this challenging journey.

Do you have any recommendations for what to say to someone with a new breast cancer diagnosis? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

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3 Ways to Support a Friend with a New Breast Cancer Diagnosis

March 13, 2018 by

In the past, we’ve talked about how you can help someone who is in the midst of battling breast cancer.

It’s amazing how simple things like cooking a meal or sending a card can really make a difference in the life of someone who is undergoing treatment.

In this article, however, we thought it would be nice to give some advice on how to be a friend when someone is newly diagnosed with breast cancer.

After all, while a battle with breast cancer is certainly challenging, the initial shock of being diagnosed is downright difficult.

Many times, we are quick to jump in and say, “Everything’s going to be fine” out of the kindness of our hearts. But, that’s not necessarily true or helpful.

Keep reading to discover 3 powerful ways you can help someone who is coping with a new cancer diagnosis.

Be a Good Listener

Humans are verbal creatures, so sometimes it’s our natural instinct to start blurting things out like “You’ll beat this,” “You’re tougher than cancer,” or “Everything will be fine.”

But, in the midst of a new diagnosis, these words are very cliché and unhelpful.

No one knows what the future holds, and your friend has just started the battle of a lifetime. Now is the time to sit quietly and listen.

Take in what your friend has to say and only chime in when appropriate.

Don’t push for details on what type of cancer she’s been diagnosed with or how bad the diagnosis is. Your friend or family member will reveal that information if she wants to in her own time.

It’s possible that your loved one won’t want to talk about her diagnosis at all. Perhaps, she needs some time to get her mind off the matter and focus on other things.

Let your friend or family member direct the conversation.

Make Yourself Available

Processing a cancer diagnosis is mentally draining.

And, as treatments begin, a battle with cancer becomes physically draining as well.

This is why making yourself available to a friend who has been newly diagnosed is so valuable.

A friend or family member might need you to sit and talk with her as she processes her diagnosis.

Or she might just need you to watch her kids, walk her dog, etc., so she can get in a nap when she is feeling drained and exhausted.

Making yourself available to jump in and help whenever and wherever help is needed is one of the best gifts you can give someone.

It’s possible that your loved one will be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. For this reason, be sure to extend the invitation to help so she doesn’t have to ask for it.

If your loved one declines the help, make it a point to let her know that you’ll always be there for her as time goes on in case she needs an extra hand later.

Be a True Friend

Being a true friend means being honest, open, giving, and readily available when needed.

It also means not gossiping about your friend’s recent diagnosis or sharing things that shouldn’t be shared.

We understand that it can be hard to not discuss your friend’s personal matters with others who are close to you. After all, it’s likely that you’ll need time to process a friend or family member’s cancer diagnosis, too.

But, it’s important to remember that your loved one who has been diagnosed is sharing difficult and often deeply personal information with you–information that she might not want shared publicly.

Always ask permission before you share information.

For example, you might be a part of a religious group that wants to pray for the friend or family member who has been diagnosed.

This is a lovely thing to do. But, before you tell your entire prayer circle about your loved one’s diagnosis, make sure it’s ok to share.

Your loved one who is battling cancer needs someone who she can confide in and depend on.

Be a true friend.

How have you supported a friend or family member who was diagnosed with cancer? Let us know in the comments below!

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New Social Network for Women Facing Breast Cancer

March 18, 2013 by

Heads up—there’s a new social network in town, and The Center of Natural Breast Reconstruction couldn’t be happier to share the news!

My Breast Cancer Team (MyBCTeam) is a brand-new social network open to women recently diagnosed with breast cancer, those currently in treatment, and even women 15 years out from treatment. MyBCTeam enables women to find others just like them, share experiences, tips and referrals and make real, lasting connections with other women who have been in their shoes.

Other features of the social network include:

  • Activity Page: The heartbeat of the site, where women share their ups and downs with each other. Triumphs are cheered and challenging moments are supported.
  • Find People: Women can search for other women by diagnosis (both stage and type) and also by age and location.
  • Provider Directory: A searchable directory (by keyword and location) of a variety of providers, submitted by women, specializing in breast cancer treatments.
  • The Team: Users share the team of providers who have helped them during and after treatment—from an oncology radiologist to a breast reconstruction surgeon to hair stylist. Women can also add other women they find supportive to their team, offering another great way to connect.
  • Q & A: This searchable database is a forum for questions and answers submitted by the community of women.
  • Pinboard: A discovery area where women visually share their journey with breast cancer and treatment. Pins can include ways of managing their self-image, recipes, family photos, or places they’d like to travel after treatment.
  • “Hug” Button: The unique “hug” button is used to show empathy and understanding to other women. Women can also choose to “like” someone else’s status, story, or photo to show their approval.
  • Mobile App: Gives women the ability to ask questions and connect to the community wherever they are. The freeMyBCTeam app is available on iOS and Android devices.

 

Connect and share with other women with breast cancer at http://www.MyBreastCancerTeam.com.

 

 

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