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July Q&A #1

August 19, 2019 by

Q.I’m waiting to have surgery to take a cancer lump from my left breast. Then I will be taking radiation treatment. Will my breast be disfigured from this and will I be suitable to build my breast appearance with reconstruction surgery?
Judi

A.Hi Judi, Sorry you’re having to go through this. Management of a lumpectomy defect can be more complicated than reconstructing an entire breast after mastectomy. If you are sure you want to have a lumpectomy instead of mastectomy, then it may be best to have a plastic surgeon do reconstructive surgery on your breast at the same time as your general surgeon does the lumpectomy, before radiation, as the radiation will make any subsequent surgery to improve the shape of the breast much, much riskier (particularly regarding wound healing problems). If you would like to discuss your situation in more detail by phone, I would be happy to speak with you.

Richard M. Kline, Jr., MD

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Coping after surgery

August 19, 2019 by

Surgery is a common method of treating breast cancer, but it can be overwhelming. There is so much to think about and you might be feeling scared, especially about how you will handle recovery. Here are some tips that we hope will help to make your recovery easier:

Prepare: Recovering from breast surgery really begins before you even have your surgery. It will take you a few weeks to recover, at least, so take time to brainstorm everything you do on a daily and weekly basis. What can wait to do until after you’ve recovered? What do you need help with on a daily or weekly basis? You will need assistance, but before you make any arrangements, figure out exactly what those needs are. For example, do you need someone to drive the kids to activities? Take the garbage out? Cook or clean for you? Help with laundry or taking care of your bandages?

Find support: Once you know what you need, it is time to create a support system. You might need someone to help you dress, undress and bathe until your doctors remove your drain, if you’ve had a mastectomy. Ask what your spouse can help with and see where there are gaps. Perhaps your children, a few close friends or relatives can alternate times to help you. Neighbors might offer to take your children to their activities, while your mom offers to cook and do the housework for you.

Stock up: Make sure to cook and freeze a few days or weeks worth of meals before surgery, so you have easy-to-grab foods and snacks. Eating healthy is important for your recovery too, so choose low-fat, highly nutritious options. Keep fruit, vegetables and water on hand as well.

Don’t forget that you may have an issue putting on your current clothes, so consider purchasing several shirts that are a little larger than what you currently wear and that button up in the front so they are easier to get on and off and do not rub against your incision.

Don’t overdo it: Everybody wants to get back to their regular routine after surgery, but it’s important for your recovery that you don’t overdo it. Get plenty of rest and sleep, especially in the first few weeks.

Follow post-surgery care: You will be given exercises to do after surgery, information on how to care for your skin and directions on what you can and can’t do. For example, you may not be able to shower for a week or go in a pool for several weeks. Make sure to keep your follow-up appointments too. To heal properly, be sure to follow all directions that you’ve been given.

Be observant:If you have a drain, keep an eye out for any excess blood, signs of infection or other problems. If you see something that doesn’t seem right, contact your physician right away.

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Q&A #2: May 2019

May 27, 2019 by

Q:
I had a bilateral mastectomy in October 2016. I finished radiation on the right side in January 2017, and underwent bilateral latissimus flap reconstruction in August 2017. I had capsular contracture (when the scar tissue or capsule that normally forms around the implant tightens and squeezes the implant) on the right side and the implant changed out in March 2018. Once again, I have capsular contracture on the same side. What do I do? They are absolutely not even close to symmetrical. I am only 46. I am kind of thinking that I should just forget reconstruction even though I don’t really want to go flat.

A:
Without knowing all of the details about your situation, I think there is a reasonable chance you have some good options left. Here are a few potential ones:
1. We have reconstructed more than 1,800 breasts with natural tissue alone (no implants) using the abdomen or buttocks. If you have any tissue in those areas, that is our most frequently used option.
2. We have, on several occasions, reconstructed breasts with latissimus flaps alone, with added free-fat grafts, which can sometimes double (or more) the size of the latissimus flap, and make implants unnecessary.
3. For the last 4 1/2 years, we have done all of our implant reconstructions exclusively in front of the muscle, using a full Alloderm (specially preserved donor skin) wrap. This has completely changed our outlook on implant breast reconstruction, and has on occasion produced surprisingly good results – even in radiated breasts. I have converted several “implant-behind-the-muscle” patients (some who already had latissimus flaps) to in-front-of-the-muscle, and they all feel that it is a significant improvement. Free-fat grafting can also be added to implant-based reconstruction to improve shape, size and overall naturalness.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with going flat if you are sure that is what you want to do, but it might be premature for you to decide to do that only because you don’t think you have any other options. I would be delighted to discuss your situation in more detail by phone, if you wish, or see you in person for a consultation.
Thanks for your question! We look forward to hearing from you.

Best,
Dr. Richard M Kline JR MD

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Overcoming ‘Scanxiety’: 5 Tips to Keep Your Wits for Your Next Breast Scan

May 22, 2019 by

Even though you won’t find the word in any dictionary — yet — scanxiety is real. Just ask any breast cancer patient. Scanxiety is the anxiety you feel when your next scan — mammography, ultrasound, PET scan or other major test — approaches. You’re nervous, restless and tense, your heart is pounding and you may have trouble sleeping or eating. You’re constantly worried about what the test will find.

These tests can determine if your cancer is in remission or if you still need additional treatment. For some, the scanxiety over these tests can start days, weeks and even months before the actual test occurs and continue while you take and wait for the results. And even those who have received good news from scans in the past still suffer from scanxiety leading up to their next one, hoping that they will hear those same results again.

There have not been many medical studies done on the impact of scanxiety, but one small study done on lung cancer patients was published in the October 2016 edition of Lung Cancer. It showed that scanxiety can mimic the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including distressing thoughts, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, insomnia and irritability. The study showed that scanxiety can actually impair your quality of life.

Fortunately, there are steps you can take to help reduce or even eliminate the symptoms of scanxiety:

  1. Meditation: Whether you do it in a group or by yourself, meditation has been found to settle thoughts and help reduce stress and improve concentration. According to the Mayo Clinic, there are several ways that you can meditate:
  • Guided meditation: Led by a teacher, you are guided to conjure mental images that you find relaxing.
  • Mantra meditation: repeating a calming word or phrase that will be used to prevent distracting thoughts from entering your mind.
  • Mindfulness meditation: This is increased awareness and acceptance of living in the present moment. “I took a mindfulness course which I firmly believe kept me from completely going off the rails,” said one triple negative breast cancer patient in an online support group.
  1. Support Groups: Speaking of support groups, there are many in-person and online support groups that you can join to help you get through these difficult times. Your cancer center may have a supportive care department that is staffed with doctors, social workers and psychiatrists or psychologists. Here you can express your concerns about your upcoming scans. Others who may have also experienced the same symptoms can share additional coping mechanisms. Sometimes, just letting it out can help.

There are Facebook groups for breast cancer patients as well as patients with specific conditions, such as Triple Negative Breast Cancer. The best thing about online support groups is that they are available 24/7, so you can let people know what you’re going through even if it’s the middle of the night.

  1. Support System: Often scanxiety gets worse if you feel like you’re going through the tests alone. Will someone be with you when you go to the test or get the results? Having that person to hold or talk to can often reduce scanxiety.
  2. Fun Things: It might sound simple, but distracting yourself with some fun activities may help to reduce your scanxiety. A good book or a good movie, dinner with friends, or a weekend getaway can keep your mind occupied.
  3. Medication: Sometimes, patients need help keeping anxiety under control. Before taking anti-anxiety medication, such as Lorazepam, discuss these options with your physician to find the right one for you.

Most importantly, don’t ignore your scanxiety symptoms. Treating them allows you to live a better quality of life while you’re going through these very important tests.

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Q&A #1: May 2019

May 13, 2019 by

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Q:

I had bilateral mastectomy on May 11, 2018, as a result of inflammatory breast cancer. I did have a tumor, but I also had a complete response to chemo and clear margins at surgery, followed by six weeks of radiation. A 5mm metastasis to one lymph node and a total of two lymph nodes were removed. I do have scar tissue and some swelling on the affected side, but I control it with OT and exercise. I am 61 years old, and otherwise healthy. Am I a candidate for reconstruction and, if so, how long should I wait? I currently see my oncologist yearly and my surgeon every six months for a vascular ultrasound.

Thank you!

A:
You are absolutely a candidate for reconstruction with your own tissue, and we would be happy to help you any way we can. I feel it is rarely, if ever, necessary to wait more than six months after radiation for reconstruction, and you are well past that. Also, your history of radiation, fortunately, has no impact on our ability to reconstruct you successfully using your own tissue.
I would be happy to chat with you further by phone, or see you in consultation in our Charleston office. Please let us know what we can do to help.

Best,
Richard M. Kline, Jr., MD

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Finding the Right Surgeon

March 18, 2019 by

5 Key Attributes to Look for in a Plastic Surgeon

 

You’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy. Now you’ve made the important decision to have reconstructive surgery to rebuild your breast. Your next important decision is to make sure you have the right plastic surgeon to do the job.

Finding the right surgeon isn’t always easy. But you need to put the same time and effort into it that you would put into hiring a real estate agent to find you a home or finding the right school for your children. After all this is your health we’re talking about and you deserve the best.

So what should you look for when choosing a surgeon?

1. Make Sure the Plastic Surgeon Specializes in Your Procedure

Some plastic surgeons specialize in implants, while others do tissue flap procedures, such as TRAM or the newer microsurgical procedure, the DIEP flap. Perhaps you already had a reconstruction procedure and need it revised. You need someone who has extensive experience with revision surgery.  Ask how many procedures the surgeon has performed and the success rate for the specific procedure you are considering.

2. Make Sure They are Board Certified and Well Trained.

Plastic surgeons are certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery (ABPS)  which means that they have completed residency training specifically in Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery at an accredited institution.  They have passed comprehensive written and oral examinations covering all plastic surgery procedures. You can visit the ABPS website to find out if your plastic surgeon is an up-to-date certified member.  Fellowship training in a specialized field such as Breast Microsurgery is desirable if you are considering muscle sparing autologeous reconstruction procedures such as DIEP, GAP, PAP etc.

3. Make Sure the Surgeon’s Record is Clean

There are licensing boards for each state where you can check a surgeon’s background for any malpractice judgments or disciplinary actions. Visit the Federation of State Medical Boards’ website for more information.

4. Make Sure You are Comfortable

Once you find a plastic surgeon that specializes in your chosen breast reconstruction procedure, make sure to meet and ask a variety of questions. For example, how many procedures have you performed? What is your success rate? What is your background? What will the surgery entail and what is recovery going to be like?

Even if you have done your research and know the answers, see if you are comfortable with how the doctor communicates with you during this meeting. Does the surgeon answer your questions thoroughly and address your concerns?  If the answers are off-putting or you feel uncomfortable in any way, that surgeon may not be the one for you.

5. Make Sure They Take Your Insurance

It might sound like an obvious thing to ask, but some surgeons will require that you pay out-of-network fees. You don’t want to be surprised with a big bill at the end of the procedure, so make sure that your plastic surgery procedure and the surgeon’s fees are covered at in-network rates by your insurance plan. Work with the surgeon and their staff to make sure everything is covered and you know all of the out-of-pocket costs prior to the procedure.

The Center for Natural Breast Reconstruction believes in good health for everyone. If you or someone you know is in need of breast reconstruction, contact them at NaturalBreastReconstruction.com or toll-free at 866- 374-2627.

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Making Peace with Your Body Post Breast Cancer

July 24, 2018 by

laughing women wearing pink for breast cance

Regardless of the severity, breast cancer takes a toll on your body.

Between chemo, radiation, and surgeries, many women struggle with their physical appearances after they’ve won their battles.

In a study published in The European Journal of Breast Health, researchers found that many of the 20 study participants who went through breast cancer treatment held a belief that breasts symbolize femininity, beauty, and motherhood.

As a result, after mastectomies, some of the participants felt that half of themselves were missing, as individuals and women.

Fortunately, there are ways to rebuild your self-esteem and body image after surviving breast cancer.

Read on to discover five tips to make peace with your body post breast cancer…

#1: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family.

Supportive family

(Source)

As the author S. Kelley Harrell writes, “we don’t heal in isolation, but in community.”

Without the support of our loved ones–whether they be friends or family–getting through rough periods in our lives may seem insurmountable.

Don’t be afraid to express your feelings of shame, self-doubt, insecurities, or beyond with those who love you and are there to support you.

Loved ones are necessary sources of warmth who will remind you of the wonderful qualities that make you who you truly are.

#2: Acknowledge that some of your body’s changes may only be temporary.

Another important point to keep in mind is that not all physical changes will be permanent.

For example, though you may gain or lose weight during treatment due to side effects of medication, you can instill changes to get back to your pre-treatment weight once your body is ready.

Of course, your body may not bounce back to “the way it used to be,” but remembering that some things will eventually return to normal is a healthy practice in positivity.

#3: Give yourself time to adjust and accept the new you.

With any physical change–even those unrelated to breast cancer–it can take time to accept and get accustomed to the change.

It’s not realistic to expect that you’ll be able to accept your new body right away.

Perhaps you used to pride yourself on certain physical characteristics that have changed considerably since you went through your breast cancer experience.

Give yourself the time to adjust your perspective on what beauty means to you.

Focus on finding new aspects of your appearance or personality that you want to emphasize or embrace–and let them shine!

#4: Eat healthy and exercise.

balanced health and diet

(Source)

Although you may be used to hearing your doctor provide the following advice, we’ll chime in here for good measure:

If you want to maintain or improve your appearance to reflect one of improved health, follow a healthy diet and incorporate exercise into your weekly routine.

Eating well and exercising will not only make you feel good from the inside out, but will also help you regain strength in your recovery process.

#5: Consider reconstructive options.

As mentioned before, for many women, breasts symbolize femininity and other values that can be hard to let go of permanently.

Thanks to the miraculous nature of modern day surgery and medicine, reconstructive options for your breasts after a mastectomy are possible.

If what you truly desire is to bring back your shape, reconstructive breast surgery is always an option.

Talk to a doctor and see what your options are. If you’re interested in seeing what our options are, check out our website here.

As a breast cancer survivor, there is a lot to be proud of.

Though physical changes to your body can be incredibly difficult to experience and acknowledge, there are ways to make peace with the changes.

Keep these five tips in mind in your journey to living life with a new normal.

Have any additional suggestions for what you do to feel beautiful in the skin you’re in? Share them in the comments below!

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3 Common Questions about Breast Reconstruction Pain and Discomfort

June 19, 2018 by

After breast reconstruction surgery, patients are bound to experience some sort of recovery pain or discomfort.

This mild pain often leads patients to ask questions such as…

  • How long will the pain last?
  • Is my pain normal?
  • Should I call my doctor?

At the time, a person’s pain or discomfort might seem unusual or scary…and the last thing we want is for patients to worry.

For that reason, we’ve decided to put together the answers to a few of our most common pain-related questions.

Find out what our surgeons and staff have to say about the following concerns…

What Are Your Suggestions for Muscle Spasms after Breast Reconstruction?

Question: I had breast reconstruction on my left breast in 2006. I have had muscle spasms in it ever since. Recently they have gotten bad again.

Any suggestions?

Answer: I’m sorry you are having problems with your reconstruction.

You didn’t mention if you were reconstructed with an implant or with your own tissue, so I will answer as if you are reconstructed with an implant. Please let me know if I have assumed wrongly.

There are several potential reasons why you could have spasms.

If the implant was placed under the pectoralis chest muscle, it can lead to pains in the pectoralis muscle or other muscles, as the muscle is no longer functioning in precisely the way it was designed to. Most people tolerate the implants well, but there is no question some have more problems than others.

The muscle can also sometimes separate from attachments to the chest wall over time, which could cause changes in symptoms.

Additionally, if you are radiated, this could potentially cause additional problems, as the muscle may be less flexible.

View the full post here.

I’m Having Pain after My Last Latissimus Flap/Implant Reconstruction. What Can I Do Now?

Question: I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011 and had a mastectomy on my left side followed by chemo.

In 2014, my mammogram began showing tumors and I would have an ultrasound every time. This caused panic attacks and I choose to have my right breast removed because the type of cancer I had was Stage 4 Aggressive.

In April 2015, I had a bilateral latissimus flat and received implants. Now I am experiencing pain across my back where I was cut and my chest gets uncomfortably tight.

The site of the drainage tube is swollen and doesn’t feel good. I stopped seeing my reconstruction doctor because he did things I was not informed of. I am worried because I do not know what is going on anymore.

Could you please advise me as to what might be going on or what to do?

Answer: I’m sorry you are continuing to have problems, but you are not alone.

I can’t speak about your situation specifically because I haven’t examined you, but here are some thoughts in general about patients with symptoms like yours.

There is no question that many people with implants describe symptoms such as yours. Often, there is no discernible reason why they should feel discomfort, but they do. Nonetheless, many of them feel relief when the implants are removed. This does not mean that you would or should, it is just an observation.

The latissimus flap can be done with or without dividing the nerve that makes it contract. I have known some patients with latissimus flaps done without dividing the nerve to have discomfort associated with the muscle contracting. Some have experienced relief when the nerve was subsequently divided. Obviously, I don’t know if this is your situation or not.

Sometimes people have complex, persistent pain after surgery or injury which is out of all proportion to what would be expected. This can be difficult to treat but thankfully is rare.

When evaluating a patient with symptoms like yours, we usually start with a careful history and physical evaluation.

Sometimes, especially if we have concerns about implant rupture, fluid collections, infection, etc., we then get an MRI and/or CT scan. Following the complete evaluation, we then decide together how to proceed.

View the full post here.

Are These Normal Problems to Have 2 Years after a Breast Reduction?

Question: I had a breast reduction over two years ago. It still feels like I have scar tissue in some areas and nipple tends to be a little sore at times.

Is that normal?

Answer: No, that’s not normal, and I’m sorry you’re having to endure it.

I can’t tell what is going on by your description, but it’s possible that you have some residual dead fat in your breasts which has not been resorbed.

An MRI scan would be the best way to determine this.

It’s also possible that you have pain for no discernible reason, which is unusual, but it happens from time to time. That doesn’t mean it can’t be treated, however, as pain therapists can be very effective in helping manage that type of pain.

View the full post here.

Do you have breast reconstruction questions? Send us your questions here!

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How to Help a Loved One Cope: 5 Common Breast Cancer Diagnosis Emotions

June 5, 2018 by

happy face balls with different emotions

After a breast cancer diagnosis, there are 5 common emotions people usually experience.

These emotions include…

  • Shock
  • Confusion
  • Sadness
  • Fear
  • Anger

If you have a friend or family member who’s recently been diagnosed, it can be difficult to help her navigate these emotions.

After all, what can you say or do to truly make someone feel better after receiving this type of news.

Unfortunately, not everything you say/do will make someone’s battle with breast cancer easier.

However, choosing carefully how you respond to these common emotions can give a loved one the support and encouragement she needs.

Keep reading to discover our tips for helping your loved one cope with the following 5 emotions.

Emotion #1: Shock

Nobody expects to leave a doctor’s appointment with a breast cancer diagnosis.

Therefore, it’s likely that your loved ones will leave an appointment feeling shocked or at a loss for words about the news they received.

When someone is in a shocked state, it’s often best to…

  • Sit quietly with your loved one. Let her do the talking if she wants to.
  • Provide support. Give your friend/family member the time to process the diagnosis while you help out with other things, like taking care of kids or cleaning the house.
  • Help your loved one feel safe and secure. While in a shocked state, things can become overwhelming very quickly. Remind your loved one that she is safe and that you will be there to provide comfort and support.

Emotion #2 – Confusion

Chalkboard question mark

No one deserves to get cancer.

For this reason, your loved one might be confused, wondering “How could this happen?” or “Why me?”

During this emotional time, it’s vital to…

  • Remind your loved one that she didn’t do anything to deserve this. It may sound silly at first, but it’s always a good reminder that sometimes bad things happen in life for no good reason.
  • Help your loved one put the puzzle pieces together. It’s possible that your loved one ended up with cancer for no logical reason. However, it’s also possible that she was genetically predisposed to breast cancer. Having a better understanding of why your loved one developed cancer might help bring some peace into her life. Uncovering a family member who also had cancer and won her battle might bring comfort to your loved one.
  • Be a listening ear when your loved one asks questions. You might not know all the answers, but providing a listening ear to your friend/family member who has so many questions is a great outlet for her.

Emotion #3 – Sadness

A sudden cancer diagnosis can easily bring up feelings of sadness.

After all, your loved one might have to leave work, cancel a vacation, miss family events, etc., in order to get treatment.

In order to help a friend/family member who is feeling sadness, we recommend that you…

  • Make yourself available. Be willing to sit quietly with a friend, go out for coffee, or pick up your phone to chat with your loved one. Simply being available when the person you care about is experiencing grief is very important.
  • Send your loved one an uplifting card. It’s amazing how much a simple card with a thoughtful message can do. Grab a pen, a piece of paper, and remind your loved one about how much you care for her.
  • Grab a box of tissues. One of the best ways to release pent-up sadness is a good, old-fashioned cry session. Make the time to sit with your friend, uncover the reasons behind her grief, and allow yourself to be vulnerable and share in her grief.

Emotion #4 – Fear

elderly woman looking worried

Thanks to donations, research, and hardworking volunteers, doctors, and scientists, the prognosis for many breast cancer patients is wonderful.

That being said, a breast cancer diagnosis often makes people think the worst, which causes a lot of fear.

When a loved one with a new breast cancer diagnosis is feeling fearful, it’s a good idea to…

  • Talk about her diagnosis. After testing, most doctors can determine if a person has a good prognosis or not. If your loved one has a good prognosis, remind her that she is strong and able to win her cancer battle.
  • Put action steps in place. Fear often occurs because someone feels she is losing control. With permission of her doctor, help your loved one gain back control with a special cancer-fighting diet plan, supplement plan, etc. Having a little control can help the one you love ward off feelings of fear.
  • Hit the books. Fear of the unknown is a very scary thing. In order to help your loved one curb this type of fear, get educated together. Read about breast cancer. Go with your loved one to doctor’s appointments. Ask questions. Every piece of info you get can help put both you and your loved ones worries to rest.

Emotion #5 – Anger

Finally, it’s likely that your loved one will feel anger–and she has every right to feel that way!

While anger is usually an emotion we try to avoid, experiencing it can actually help with the healing process. In fact, anger is a motivating emotion!

If your loved one is angry at her cancer diagnosis, there’s a good change that she’s going to be more motivated to conquer her battle.

To help your loved one express her anger, we suggest you…

  • Set aside time to let your loved one share her honest thoughts. We often have to hide our true emotions so we don’t upset people. This is why letting your friend/family member be real and honest with you about her diagnosis–even if it means screaming, crying, swearing, etc.–is very helpful.
  • Offer constructive ways to release anger. It’s important to remind your friend/family member that there are healthy ways of releasing anger. Let her know it’s ok to hit her pillows, scream at the top of her lungs, do some kickboxing, etc., to channel her inner feelings.
  • Provide support. Sometimes anger causes people to say things or do things that don’t make sense. For instance, your loved one might blame a doctor for her cancer diagnosis. As long as no one is being harmed, stand by your friend’s side and just agree. Once the anger blows over, she’ll realize that not everything she said or did was right. However, in the midst of being angry, your friend doesn’t need an argument, she just needs to know that you have her back.

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What to Say to Someone with a New Breast Cancer Diagnosis

May 1, 2018 by

two friends chatting together

According to NationalBreastCancer.org, 1 out of 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year.

Unfortunately, this means that, over your lifetime, there’s a good chance that you’ll know a friend or family member who has breast cancer.

Sadly, if you receive this type of news, it can be difficult to find the right words to say to bring comfort to the one you love.

For that reason, we want to suggest 5 kind and compassionate things to say to someone who has been recently diagnosed with breast cancer.

It is our hope that you can use these suggestions to find positive, encouraging words that will uplift the women in your life who are fighting this courageous battle.

Keep reading to discover what we recommend…

Idea #1 – “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you.”

It’s 100% okay to not know what to say to someone with a new breast cancer diagnosis.

In fact, sometimes, it’s better not to say anything at all and let your loved one do the talking.

The simple line “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you” is a great way to let your friend or family member know that you’re at a loss for words.

Most important, this line can prevent you from saying something you can’t promise, like the phrase “Everything will be okay” that many people say out of habit.

The most important part of this sentence is the ending…“I’m here for you.”

It’s a great reminder to your friend or family member that, while you might not know what to say in the moment, you’ll always be there to provide support.

Idea #2 – “I’m here to listen.”

two women looking at the mountains

Actions often speak louder than words.

For this reason, we suggest letting your loved one know “I’m here to listen.”

This line gives your friend or family member the time to express her own thoughts, concerns, or worries before you speak.

It’s important to understand that your loved one will need time to process her thoughts and talking out loud can help her do just that.

After your loved one has had a chance to talk, you can then express what you feel is appropriate to say based on what has been told to you.

If you’re struggling to find the right words to say, don’t say anything at all. It’s just as valuable to lend your friend or family member a pair of supportive, listening ears.

Idea #3 – “Can I help you with X?”

When someone is diagnosed with breast cancer, it’s easy for her to become overwhelmed.

It’s likely that she will be left wondering how she will keep up with daily life while also fighting the battle of her life.

This is why our third recommendation is to simply ask your friend or family member, “Can I help you with X?”

Instead of talking about the diagnosis, simply ask how you can help. Doing this will remind the person you care about that she has people in her life that are going to help her keep moving forward.

We recommend that, when you ask how you can help, you are specific in your request.

For instance, you might ask, “Can I drive you to your doctor’s appointments?” or “Can I walk your dog twice a week?”

People are more likely to accept help when you are specific about what you’re offering to do.

Idea #4 – “What else is new?”

2 friends on a coffee date

Sometimes, talking about a breast cancer diagnosis isn’t helpful–especially if a person has a lot of other people asking her questions and wanting information.

Instead, your loved one might want to take her mind off the situation and talk about other things like a hobby or vacation.

If you can tell that your family member or friend is having a hard time talking about the diagnosis, change the topic and see if that helps.

Ask anything from “What are your kids up to?” to “How did you enjoy that movie you went to see the other day?”

A lighthearted conversation on a topic other than cancer might be the best thing you can do to offer a little peace in the midst of a breast cancer diagnosis.

Idea #5 – “Where or how can I learn more about what you’re going through?”

We all know that getting diagnosed with breast cancer is a difficult, life-changing experience. However, unless you’ve been diagnosed yourself, you’ll never be able to put yourself in the shoes of the person you care about.

That being said, it is possible to educate yourself to get a better understanding of what your loved one is going through.

That’s why we recommend that you ask your friend or family member, “Where or how can I learn more about what you’re going through?”

Having this knowledge up front will equip you with the tools you need to ask the right questions and provide the best support for the one you love.

This knowledge will also help you become more empathetic toward your loved one who is on this challenging journey.

Do you have any recommendations for what to say to someone with a new breast cancer diagnosis? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

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